Real Communication to Heal Relationships

RealCommunication1We are living in a world of technology.
Just a phone call away from our friends and family.

International calls are free due to many applications. Due to social networking sites, many old friends are found again and got in touch again. To kill loneliness people seek friends on social networking sites. Friends whom we don’t really know personally. We have started spending time with people in the virtual world. Becoming so attached to our gadgets, we have stopped noticing people around us. We are now cold towards our family and people around us. Each one of us is busy with our work or phones. I see people sitting together in one room, but not talking to each other. They are either watching television, playing games on mobile phones or chatting with unseen people, thereby ignoring family and their emotional needs.

We tend to show our concern to online friends by commenting on their status but we hardly know that our loved ones sitting close by us need to chat. Especially old members of our family and kids. We have started living in an illusionary online relationship world and stopped real communication with real people. Apart from some positive aspects of social networking, it is becoming slow poison to our relationships. We are getting detached with people we share a close bond.

Technology is a boon unless we get addicted to it. There were times when unknown people would start a discussion while travelling in a train or bus. The long journeys would become short and interesting while talking to each other. Those were beautiful light hearted chit chats. In journey thoughts, food and addresses were shared. Those days “bored”, “stress”, “depression” were not common words like nowadays. People were lively and used to enjoy communications with life partner, family members and neighbours. Nowadays I have noticed, in buses, trains and streets that people don’t bother to look at or pass a smile to each other. People are quite busy with themselves, with their phones or tablets, chatting or listening to music while wearing ear phones. We seems to be busy and surrounded by the whole world with all the communication facilities in our hands.

But actually the truth is we are constantly sinking in our own loneliness and breaking our real relationships with our own hands.We have forgotten that we are building transparent walls around us. We don’t realise that we need real family and friends  (not online ) to talk to; we need to be with people we can open our hearts to;  to hold hands and feel strong. 

communication3People need people to talk to in real sense. We really do not realize how badly people need a release. As a healer, I work with people as well as on myself. I know how important conversations are. I deal with women who have given their whole lives to their children and families but are suffering from loneliness now. Nobody has the time to talk to them and they are provided with a big screen television sets to entertain themselves. The question is can they talk to television? They can’t share their real emotions as they are afraid of being made fun by others in a kitty group. Hence, they are forced to carry an artificial image. 

We really have no idea how suffocated people are in their emotions. Most people have nobody to express themselves entirely to. Everyone is holding back their vulnerabilities to maintain the social image of a confident and happy person. Heart-to-heart conversations have become rare, fake and shallow. And most hearts are filled with empty defenses. 

Most people can’t even talk to their life-partners openly for the fear of being judged or rejection. Emotions await just a release. Social images make sure weakness is not glorified. Children have bottled up stress. Young people suffer anxiety and depression. It’s just a lack of social support. It is a mere lack of non-judgmental friendships.

Communication2We have WhatsApp and facetime and social media and we have stress, anxiety and depression. Our forefathers had neither because they talked to each other. Talking helps. The face-to-face kind of talking, the just-listen-to-me talking, the hold-my-hand-and-let-me-cry talking, the sit-next-to-me-and-listen-to-my-silence talking… a conversation where the person can be themselves and say anything they feel without the fear of any judgement or loss or rejection. Today, we don’t like that type of talking. Those conversations when someone begins to undress one’s mind, feel awkward. We don’t ever want them.

In fact we avoid them. And so, mental illness is epidemic. Naturally.

Let’s create conversations. Let’s start behaving and reviving our relationships like before when there were no WhatsApp, Facebook and the like. Let’s start talking to our loved ones who are sitting with you. Let’s start becoming real and heal our relationships with real Communication. 

Come on, let’s start talking again.

Happy Valentine’s Day !

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