Life is unimaginable without friends. Friends act as a life line at times of need. If someone asks me why friends in my life come on the top, because I was not given the choice to choose my parents, siblings and other relatives…. Rather I was born in certain circumstances and family… without asking me. When it comes to exercise my freedom to some extent, I was free to choose whom to consider just classmate, acquaintance or “friend “.
If someone asked me in my teenage I must have said that I have full freedom to choose my friends…but now at this point of life I have learned that my freedom to choose friends is my freedom to “some extent” and some luck too. When I have to count my blessings this starts with friends. A good friend is a complete package — mixture of all relationships in one. A good friend act as loving parent or elder sister when you need advice and moral support, a lover when you need pampering and above all a good listener when all you need is to tell all the silly things that you can’t express because of fear of image breaking.
The famous poet Khalil Gibran said, “Who finds a faithful friend finds a treasure”. In his famous book “The Prophet”, he talks deeply about friendship. He says that, “A friend is God’s blessing”. The most important ingredient in friendship is love. We shower friends with love and in return we earn their gratitude. It is his way of answering our needs. The poet says that a friend is your board and fireside. Even when he is physically away he provides you with the comfort and warmth in winter, a friend is a source of comfort during times of distress. A true friend is one with whom we can share our joys and sorrows. Communicating with him does not need any special effort. He is one who can understand not only our words but our silence too. We need not be afraid to speak out our mind in his ‘presence ‘ we can express our innermost feelings, hopes and fears.
The most wonderful qualities of friends are they are non judgmental and you are free to be yourself. Friends love and accept you the way you are….no makeup, no mask is required. In deep friendship one enjoys endless talks and at the same time understands the silence and words unspoken. I find the biggest freedom you enjoy being with your friends is “to be yourself “. This is most precious thing that one miss while missing old friends.
As one is compelled to act and behave in a certain manner being in profession or to please peer groups, relatives and many other. That is reason one gets so emotional and excited when one get chance to meet old friends. If I get chance to travel in time machine, I would love to travel back to my college and university days and stayed there only. In my culture it’s unusual to stay in touch with your college and university women friends especially when they are married off. Girls tend to follow their in laws norms and traditions, as it’s said they keep their friendships till they get married. Though boys generally carry on with their friendships throughout their lives. Nowadays thanks to the social websites, many friends got chance to revive their friendships and got to in touch cause of this.
I had always felt fortunate and ‘the chosen one’ as far as enjoying the bounty of friendship is concerned. My friends got married to wonderful families where their friends were welcomed and treated as family members. My friends were given space and liberty to carry on and enjoy their college days friendships. Because of all this I’m lucky to stay in touch with my friends and it’s going to be more than 24 years of our friendship. I always felt grateful to my friend’s in-laws and husband for understanding our friendship. Without their support it was impossible. I am also grateful to the wives of my male friends for being not possessive and giving space. In fact they also became my good friends and we enjoy wonderful relationship. There is Chinese proverb that one can have maximum three good friends in life, but I am too fortunate to be always surrounded with loyal friends and that too more than three.
दिये जलते हैं, फूल खिलते हैं…
बडी मुश्किल से मगर,
दुनिया में दोस्त…
Friendship is not like that anybody you met in school, college and call them friend. Friendship is a relationship that is nurtured with time, patience, value, respect, understanding and trust. It is said if you wish to have good friends in life, first become one. Before expecting what one need from a friend, one needs to nurture in himself first. In friendship one needs to become a giver first, before expecting something in return.
Some friends think alike and some have extremely opposite in nature. When two people come across, they somehow know each other in their hearts and sometimes instantly and sometimes gradually develop a relationship. They respect and value each other’s different nature and attitude and still enjoy something similar in their heart and soul. True friendships change and grow with time. The level of maturity is raised with time.
True friends respect your individuality and never try to possess you. True friends don’t overshadow your personality rather give space to nurture. There are times and phases in life when you can’t expect help from your family and relatives but friends only. Many times it is impossible to make understand your point of view to your own family whom you consider the closest, but friends understand. True friends are unconditional. They love and support you unconditionally and guide you by holding your interests in first position rather than any other selfish motives. Friends are selfless unconditional support just a call away. Friends are gems to be preserve with love and gratitude.