As we are progressing more day by day, life has become more easy. Due to technology we have access to more information. We can update our IQ by knowing what is happening in another part of the world instantly. We can learn so much due to technology. Whether it is to get enrolled in some online course or learning some new cooking recipes, making new friends from different countries and culture. Things have become more simple.
But when it comes to human nature we have become more complex day by day. We have put more and more filters on our fragile and emotional aspect of our personality. Our transparencies are lost somewhere behind our synthetic smiles. These days it really needs courage to be vulnerable.
This time on my visit out of India, I had some golden moments of my life, when I could travel to the memory lane when I was a teenager. I met my old college friends after years. One of them is also my hostel friend whom I met after 5-6 years. I also visited another friend and stayed at her place for two days. We saw each other physically after 18 years. I found her through Facebook. That is the boon of technology for me.
It is expected that being mature and intelligent we are not supposed to display our emotions openly. Being emotional is a sign of vulnerability, and vulnerability is weakness.
In my place, in India we can still afford to visit our friends or relatives without informing or fixing time for meeting. We are used to taking visits casually. But when I was to meet my old friend after such a long time, I got a little conscious as she is working. Also I had heard from others that people in abroad don’t have time to meet or spend time. They become less emotional and more professional as they start calculating their time with dollars. There you can’t afford to waste your time just for some harmless gossip. Some also warned me not to go to meet, as I may feel hurt if I do not receive a warm welcome or if my illusions break. This is logical as we all change with time.
Still I followed my instincts and booked my tickets to meet my friend, after fixing time with her. I realised that there was so much she wanted to share with me. She told me that, “though she has friends here but still you can’t open your heart with them, as we can do with our old friends. With other friends there is a filter and you have to carry an image before them. You are not supposed to behave child like or act silly. You know, after all old friends are old friends.” And she is so right. These days the only treasure we are left with is, ‘a small bunch of old friends’, in front of whom we can be emotional, ugly, silly and be ourselves.
Old friends are like old honey. Old friendships are simply pure and authentic. We can be simply ourselves with old friends. There are no formalities, image issues or judgements. So spending time with them is an enjoyable and an energetic experience. I personally feel that meeting old friends and remembering old episodes of life is the best healing therapy. You can laugh at silly things and you are not expected to behave like an intelligent mature person. Those heart to heart conversations are real counselling. Above all, you can show your real emotions in front of old friends. It’s not that we stop making friends after we grow up or after coming into profession but those friendships are not real in a sense. Our professional friendships are more based on give and take.
It is expected that being mature and intelligent we are not supposed to display our emotions openly. Being emotional is a sign of vulnerability, and vulnerability is weakness. We are made to learn “not to ask or tell”. We can feel emotions all we want, but there’s nothing to be gained by sharing it with others. If we do so we will be mocked. People around us will laugh at us. Also talking about your emotions is frivolous, self indulgent and a waste of time. It’s not for intelligent and mature people. Thus we are trained to hide our emotions and then comes a day, we stop recognising our real emotions. We become perfect but there is vacuum inside.
Emotions are the juice of life. When we suppress and diminish our emotions, we feel deprived. If we easily express our emotions, then we can release and share.
People who are emotional are considered as emotional fools. They are not practical.Their vulnerability attracts emotional blackmail and they are used and hurt by others again and again. So we are supposed to guard our emotions from others. Strong people don’t get emotional. According to me this really needs courage to be vulnerable and authentic. Only a strong person can be emotional without fear of what people might think.
Emotions are the juice of life. When we suppress and diminish our emotions, we feel deprived. If we easily express our emotions, then we can release and share. Then there would be no need to reach a psychologist or anti depression pills. By expressing emotions we can raise the level of humanity. If we can bring more chit-chat, laughter, simplicity and transparency around us, there will be more peace, love and fulfilment in our lives.
